WTF Is It Now?!?

YET ANOTHER REASON TO HATE MTV
Another chapter in The Decline of Civilization.

WTF were they thinking??? Driving into work this morning I heard Michael Jackson was awarded 'Artist of the Millenniun' at the MTV Music Awards last night. My first thoughts, after picking my jaw up off the floor, was 'oh, I'm sorry, when did he buy MTV? Did I miss that? What's next, giving Comedian of the Century honors to Andrew Dice Clay??' Thank God it was all a mistake - the wacked-out little egotripper misunderstood the equally wacky Britney Spears' gushing intro for his little birthday-cake celebration. Whew.

My headline still stands, BTW!



MOMENTS IN CHURCHILLIANA
"President Musharraf, he's still tight with us on the war against terror, and that's what I appreciate. He's a - he understands that we've got to keep al-Qaida on the run, and that by keeping him on the run, it's more likely we will bring him to justice." - the Oaf of Office, Ruch, Ore., Aug. 22, 2002





CHENEY PLAYS WAR DRUMS TO DIVERT ATTENTION FROM HALLIBURTON QUESTIONS
Or, 'How dare you probe into my illegal* schemes and accounts in the Caymans! Don't you know we're going to war?!'

Dick "Chicanery" Cheney on Thursday hammered home the case for pre-emptive action against Iraq, brushing off a groundswell of unease among European allies, Muslim states and broader world public opinion, the US military, concerned citizens, former Iraq weapons inspectors, actual war veterans...

Cheney used a gathering of Korean War veterans to repeat an earlier indictment of Saddam Hussein, charging the Iraqi leader with acquiring weapons of mass destruction and posing a "mortal threat'' to the United States.

"What is important is that we have an agreement, an essential agreement among the American people, through their elected representatives in Congress, that the country is behind this effort in its own self defense against terrorist acts,'' House Democratic Leader Dick "Fluffy" Gephardt told CNN. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to sew some more sequins on my pink tutu."

*alleged