WTF Is It Now?!?

Jaffa

Merlin may be starting to pick up on the song melodies I've been trying to teach him, thank God. Between the two of us it really sounds like we're slaughtering small animals down there.

Jaffa walked by while Merlin was sitting with me, and Merl went "ooohh!" I asked him if he thought Jaffa was pretty, and he said "what flavor is he?" Ummmmm...orange?

I'm still blushing at the sweet write-up this site got at AMCGLTD.com. And I can't stop laughing thinking about their cat yakking story.



"In Colorado a Forest Service woman started a fire that destroyed 100,000 acres of beautiful forest. It's as though she's working for the Bush Administration." - Letterman.




Bein' prezdint is hard!

From the NY Times: "On Air Force One on Friday, Ari "the Liar" Fleischer gave reporters a preview of the Unelected Idiot's schedule, including a pitch for fitness in Orlando, a republican fund-raiser in Florida, a T-ball game on the South Lawn, a pResidential 3 Mile Run in Washington, the White House Fitness Expo and another fund-raiser at the Washington Convention Center."

Later, he will curl up in his Spiderman bunkbed with his comics, coloring books, and a glass of Ovaltine 'n' Scotch.

And from Yahoo News: The White House South Lawn will become a sports field with a soccer clinic, baseball cages and climbing wall today as exercise buff Chimpy the Squatter kicks off his drive to make Americans more fit and healthy.

The AWOL Wonderbunny launches his HealthierUS initiative bright and early at 8 a.m. on Thursday backed up by athletes including soccer player Mia Hamm of the Washington Freedom and members of the Washington Redskins football team.

The athletes will show people how to play an array of sports while health professionals will help screen guests for diseases at small booths set up on the sprawling South Lawn.

El Dorque's get-in-shape drive will include a chat on Friday with senior citizens in Orlando, Florida, about how the elderly can work out, and a "Fitness Challenge" - including foot races among his aides - on June 22 at Fort McNair in Washington.


"President Bush spent an hour on an eliptocardiac machine today. Not on the machine itself. Just learning to pronounce it." - Letterman.




Chickensh!t Ostriches at National Security Agency Full of Bullsh!t

U.S. intelligence intercepted two messages the day before the Sept. 11 attacks that indicated an event was planned the following day, but the communications were not translated until Sept. 12, anonymous government sources said on Wednesday.

The National Security Agency, which eavesdrops on communications worldwide, intercepted messages that said "tomorrow is zero hour" and "the match begins tomorrow," sources said on condition of anonymity.

"You know how many times we hear things much more serious than that? Lots of times," an official said on condition of anonymity. The messages only took on potential significance in hindsight, the anonymous official said.

Ummm, guys, I realize I'm just a paranoid conspiracist, but you think those messages on top of all the other warnings you were getting should have sent up a big blazing red flag with fireworks? Or am I being unfair here? Bite me.



And uhhh...anthrax can be good for you, because while you're in the hospital...

The Army Corps of Engineers' dumping of toxic sludge into the Potomac River protects fish by forcing them to flee the polluted area and escape fishermen, according to an internal Environmental Protection Agency document.

The document says it is not a "ridiculous possibility" that a discharge "actually protects the fish in that they are not inclined to bite (and get eaten by humans) but they go ahead with their upstream movement and egg laying."

The Corps dumps 200,000 tons of toxic sludge into the river every year in violation of the Clean Water Act and Endangered Species Act, according to the House Resources Committee.

William Colley, a retired environmental engineer who worked for the EPA for 29 years, said he was removed from leading the new permit process in 1999 after advocating eliminating the discharges.

Reported by The Moonie Times, courtesy of SmirkingChimp.com. Just WTF is wrong with Squinty the Boilfaced Bonghead's EPA????? Is is entire administration crooked???



Baaaaaaaa....

"We are resolved to rout out terror wherever it exists to save the world from freedom!" - George W. Bush, January 31 (In a Freudian slip?)

Anyone who can see that not only does the emperor have no clothes, but that he's not even wearing underwear, with the warts on his ass in plain sight, raise your hands.

The rest of the world sees it, has seen it since the beginning of this administration, and has been trying to tell us, but not all of us are listening. Many of us don't want to hear. Anyone who reads foreign news accounts is aware that whenever George W. Gump goes anywhere in the world, there are massive demonstrations. Tens of thousands of ordinary people who clog the streets to protest the "leader of the free world". Many of the demonstrations have turned violent, with demonstrators being injured and a few killed.

[H]ow could it be that when he goes anywhere, people put their safety and lives at risk to publicly show they do not like this man and his policies? Why is it that whenever Bill Clinton goes to the same countries, thousands show up in the equivalent of a mass group hug?

From Isaac Peterson's column.



"Bush has surrounded himself with smart people the way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut." - Dennis Miller





'But would Tocqueville have called Adam Clymer an asshole?'

Jake Tapper helps cracks the code of bushspeak: 'On the morning of June 14, on the way to a college commencement address in Columbus, Ohio, John Bridgeland, director of USA Freedom Corps, briefed reporters on a speech President Bush was about to give. It would be, according to Bridgeland, based on the works of George Eliot, Alexis de Tocqueville, Cicero, Adam Smith, Emily Dickinson, William Wordsworth, Pope John Paul II, Benjamin Rush, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington....We decided to revisit some of Bush's more famous comments - the ones destined for Bartlett's alongside his predecessor's parsing of "is" - to see if they could be bolstered by the wise men and women whose intellect he has clearly been struggling to share with us:'

So, we should have heard: "Dreams are nothing but incoherent ideas, occasioned by partial or imperfect sleep." -- Dr. Benjamin Rush, congressman, signer of the Declaration of Independence

When it came out like: "Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of [Dr. Seuss's] Hop on Pop." -- Bush at an education event in Philadelphia, April 2, 2002

We should have heard: "We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable; that all men are created equal and independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent and inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, and liberty and the pursuit of happiness ... " -- Thomas Jefferson, first draft of the Declaration of Independence, June 1776

When it came out like: "You know, the enemy, when they hit America, didn't understand us. They didn't think we were a nation that could conceivably sacrifice for something greater than ourself, that we were soft, that we were so self-absorbed and so materialistic that we wouldn't defend anything we believed in. My, were they wrong. They missed -- they just were reading the wrong magazine or watching the wrong Springer show." -- Bush, March 12, 2002

We should have heard: "If there ever are great revolutions there, they will be caused by the presence of the blacks upon American soil. That is to say, it will not be the equality of social conditions but rather their inequality which may give rise thereto." -- Alexis de Tocqueville, from "Democracy In America"

When it came out like: "Do you have blacks too?" -- Bush to Brazil's President Fernando Henrique Cardoso, March 2001 (As reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso)

Read more at Salon.